For someone born in a Telugu speaking family and raised in a railway township, the similarities in the traditions and culture of people living in such distant places, as Andhra Pradesh and West Bengal was intriguing and unclear. The similarities exist in spite of the clear and apparent dissimilarities in language, food habits, day-to-day life, and social norms amongst other factors added to the enigma!

These similarities bind the peoples together and our family, in particular, received immense affection from the community around us. Why is it that there are similarities of such a fundamental nature between two different peoples although they are apparently so dissimilar? How or why is it that different people can also be together at the same time?

One of the similarities was the affectionate and caring attitude of the hosts towards the guests, particularly, in functions, feasts or social functions. The host or their close relatives would reach out to each guest, enquire and ensure that they are comfortable and receive the personalised service required. The hosts were happy to serve the guests as per their means, to such an extent that guests would consider revisiting. Service was oriented towards the guests and it flowed. The intent was to make the guests comfortable so that they enjoy, even if it is difficult for the hosts. This is one of the beautiful aspects of our culture for many years.

This culture had spread to other segments of our society to an extent that one experienced it when hosts took the help of outsiders to extend the service as the numbers became larger and the family could not cater to them. With the dawn of the age of professional service providers, the paradigm shifted towards ease of providing service rather than serving the guest. The disposable paper, plastic glasses, paper plates, putting paper cloth on tables, buffet dinner, and employing servers reduces the hassles for the host and makes it easy to provide service at a cost.

The “service provider” keeps the food at a central place, such that it is easy for them to replenish the food in containers. The fact that this makes it difficult for the served to replenish food and continue eating easily and safely, without touching another, does not seem to be an important or pertinent factor. The guests have to search for a place to sit, or learn ways of eating while standing, in the name of changing social norms, which are oriented towards and defined by the service provider. The children and elderly people have to struggle with the plates and glasses.

It is perplexing that although the “service provider” serves neither the host nor the guests, both do not seem to recognise this. Most gullibly, we pay disproportionately more than what we did in earlier times for the reduction in service that we receive. What does this indicate? Why is it that we are unable to discern between service and service provider?

We perceive that by paying to the service provider we can take care of the guests by being with them to enjoy quality time together. For a perceptive guest it is clear that the services are not only inadequate but also deficient. The areas of serious concern are cleanliness of furniture, hygiene of the cooks and servers, quality of food, and quantity of food. Why is it that the service providers are as unethical and dishonest as to betray the basic requirements? Why is it that most people do not demand the requisite service from them? When we demand the requisite quality, they tell us to pay even more. We begin by paying for bad quality and pay more for the quality that we want!

Is what we earn disproportionate to our efforts making us diminish the value of our money. Is this the cause for the careless and callous patterns of expenditure? Do we have the capacity and the will to question at deeper levels?

Is it not important to inculcate in our children the ability to see the content of goods and service so that they make sound purchase decisions? Does not gullibility also imply casualness and callousness in one’s attitude? How can teachers and parents educate children to understand the value of a service so that they make responsible choices?